i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
