So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
