Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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