White coat. Heels.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I'm really busy with my period
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