I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So squirting runs in the family.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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