Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
