It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
