I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
