I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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