You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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