Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now

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(303): She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now http://tfl.nu/p6no

Replies (26) Good night (1337) Bad night (4382)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem

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(704): the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem http://tfl.nu/ycgy

Replies (10) Good night (4006) Bad night (720)
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(317): View more from Indiana

she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.

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(317): she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know. http://tfl.nu/4052

Replies (16) Good night (1304) Bad night (5853)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.

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(623): Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy. http://tfl.nu/cg4z

Replies (60) Good night (2333) Bad night (5159)
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(954): View more from Florida

I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.

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(954): I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals. http://tfl.nu/1tkg

Replies (16) Good night (1166) Bad night (4697)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..

(1-318): View more from Louisiana

what?how do you know?

(318): View more from Louisiana

it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.

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(318): i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday.. (1-318): what?how do you know? (318): it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet. http://tfl.nu/gg1h

Replies (10) Good night (1340) Bad night (4749)
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(618): View more from Illinois

she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.

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(618): she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing. http://tfl.nu/tedj

Replies (9) Good night (946) Bad night (2778)
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(954): View more from Florida

I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"

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(954): I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!" http://tfl.nu/l7rl

Replies (19) Good night (4529) Bad night (2095)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.

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(313): Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes. http://tfl.nu/gyak

Replies (8) Good night (3667) Bad night (1609)
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(260): View more from Indiana

His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.

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(260): His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too. http://tfl.nu/ej6j

Replies (8) Good night (4798) Bad night (985)
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(214): View more from Texas

He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.

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(214): He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash. http://tfl.nu/jj6x

Replies (7) Good night (2001) Bad night (862)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now

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(204): Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now http://tfl.nu/dal2

Replies (15) Good night (617) Bad night (2697)
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(209): View more from California

Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds

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(209): Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds http://tfl.nu/gpe4

Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (377)
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(770): View more from Georgia

You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy

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(770): You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy http://tfl.nu/kuvz

Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (224)
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(815): View more from Illinois

You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.

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(815): You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother. http://tfl.nu/agj9

Replies (8) Good night (207) Bad night (868)

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