If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's so Britney 2007, you know?