how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.