A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.