Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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