I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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