I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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