he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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