I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Drunk is not a location!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize