he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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