im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
