oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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