there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
