There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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