Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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