sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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