I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
