Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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