Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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