Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."

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  (407): I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me." http://tfl.nu/vao0
  Replies (16) Good night (3355) Bad night (1170)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.

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  (440): Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know. http://tfl.nu/71w6
  Replies (25) Good night (11530) Bad night (912)
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  (310): View more from California

  I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.

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  (310): I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen. http://tfl.nu/puzs
  Replies (27) Good night (1133) Bad night (11266)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"

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  (484): the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?" http://tfl.nu/cfh8
  Replies (68) Good night (4440) Bad night (1641)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right

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  (540): Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right http://tfl.nu/yhhf
  Replies (38) Good night (5090) Bad night (1138)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.

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  (314): I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore. http://tfl.nu/n30o
  Replies (18) Good night (4712) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it

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  (973): So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it http://tfl.nu/ct20
  Replies (29) Good night (5446) Bad night (1849)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven

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  (574): im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven http://tfl.nu/dx1t
  Replies (6) Good night (4248) Bad night (931)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.

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  (512): Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it. http://tfl.nu/4ruk
  Replies (5) Good night (2497) Bad night (842)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.

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  (218): We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned. http://tfl.nu/2b3c
  Replies (7) Good night (2055) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And by one day I mean once every two weeks.

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  (604): If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob. (604): And by one day I mean once every two weeks. http://tfl.nu/w0wa
  Replies (14) Good night (3096) Bad night (786)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.

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  (563): Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit. http://tfl.nu/it5v
  Replies (8) Good night (1560) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.

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  (812): Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes. http://tfl.nu/kd9i
  Replies (6) Good night (801) Bad night (375)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian

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  (+44): I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian http://tfl.nu/g2ut
  Replies (3) Good night (1037) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.

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  (804): Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever. http://tfl.nu/csqa
  Replies (1) Good night (159) Bad night (370)

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