Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch

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(914): omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch http://tfl.nu/rn4k

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(443): View more from Maryland

Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.

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(443): Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you. http://tfl.nu/z07c

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(714): View more from California

i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?

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(714): i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto? http://tfl.nu/tdft

Replies (17) Good night (4370) Bad night (1193)
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(928): View more from Arizona

She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.

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(928): She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry. http://tfl.nu/gi6e

Replies (26) Good night (8327) Bad night (1178)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE

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(575): I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE http://tfl.nu/fcs3

Replies (8) Good night (4050) Bad night (968)
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(251): View more from Alabama

He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember

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(251): He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember http://tfl.nu/p8oz

Replies (2) Good night (1672) Bad night (853)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.

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(503): Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight. http://tfl.nu/viha

Replies (6) Good night (1221) Bad night (652)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.

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(217): Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not. http://tfl.nu/3f1l

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(641): View more from Iowa

Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you

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(641): Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you http://tfl.nu/x1rz

Replies (5) Good night (1484) Bad night (848)
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(407): View more from Florida

Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.

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(407): Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does. http://tfl.nu/r28t

Replies (3) Good night (1804) Bad night (574)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on

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(609): Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on http://tfl.nu/f543

Replies (2) Good night (941) Bad night (581)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

Why did you want to do any of that?

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.

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(814): He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away. (1-814): Why did you want to do any of that? (814): If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them. http://tfl.nu/bo9q

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(708): View more from Illinois

it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus

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(708): it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus http://tfl.nu/ryiv

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."

(1-704): View more from North Carolina

was his pinky out?

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(704): I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time." (1-704): was his pinky out? http://tfl.nu/k8pa

Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (212)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.

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(603): Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood. http://tfl.nu/bmuo

Replies (1) Good night (206) Bad night (164)

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