Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.