Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.

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  (443): Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check. http://tfl.nu/gtrd
  Replies (35) Good night (4714) Bad night (676)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis

  (757): View more from Virginia

  your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.

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  (443): Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis (757): your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though. http://tfl.nu/xhh4
  Replies (46) Good night (5498) Bad night (1978)
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  (909): View more from California

  and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.

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  (909): and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore. http://tfl.nu/590e
  Replies (23) Good night (6132) Bad night (1441)
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  (408): View more from California

  Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.

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  (408): Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding. http://tfl.nu/o5ps
  Replies (7) Good night (2758) Bad night (798)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...

  (404): View more from Georgia

  sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules

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  (347): i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up... (404): sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules http://tfl.nu/ozdh
  Replies (3) Good night (2986) Bad night (1143)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it

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  (330): beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it http://tfl.nu/hhxp
  Replies (5) Good night (2989) Bad night (1118)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper

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  (773): That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper http://tfl.nu/zcg4
  Replies (3) Good night (1890) Bad night (720)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.

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  (732): I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds. http://tfl.nu/t1fp
  Replies (4) Good night (1736) Bad night (615)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.

  (1-432): View more from Texas

  Erry day erry day!

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  (432): 3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life. (1-432): Erry day erry day! http://tfl.nu/wghw
  Replies (22) Good night (2241) Bad night (973)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.

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  (401): Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks. http://tfl.nu/etsv
  Replies (5) Good night (1326) Bad night (531)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.

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  (310): I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl. http://tfl.nu/jncu
  Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (363)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep

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  (281): I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep http://tfl.nu/mi4b
  Replies (4) Good night (666) Bad night (457)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless

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  (208): I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless http://tfl.nu/p6fh
  Replies (9) Good night (613) Bad night (288)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Our relationship needs a sober moment

  (1-719): View more from Colorado

  I'll call you when that happens

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  (719): Our relationship needs a sober moment (1-719): I'll call you when that happens http://tfl.nu/srmb
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (201)
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  (516): View more from New York

  So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.

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  (516): So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two. http://tfl.nu/ti8k
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (237)

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