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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"

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• (760): View more from California

  i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play

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• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.

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• (925): View more from California

  I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day

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