If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
this just has baby written all over it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
