ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
