I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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