I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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