VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize