i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
