6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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