Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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