butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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