If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
