dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
