Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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