Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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