and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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