I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
