What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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