So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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