he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
