just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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