felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
