So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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