I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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