do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
