Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
