i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
