So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
