Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
