my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
