It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
