Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
