If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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