Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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