ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
